Horse Rankings

1. Diablo — Day and night he stands guard at Denver International Airport. All hail the demon horse!
2. Thunder — A purebred Arabian gelding who serves as the Denver Broncos' mascot.
3. Comet — Bruce Campbell's co-star on The Adventures of Brisco County Jr who basically carried the show.
4. Artax — That is, the horse from The NeverEnding Story.
5. War Horse — We'd all be speaking German right now if it weren't for this heroic animal.

Top Things To Do In Denver

After seeing a similar list at a festival last weekend, my girlfriend and I (both Denver natives) decided that we could do better, so we put together our own authoritative list of the best things to do Denver.

Presented in no particular order:

RESTAURANTS AND SUCH

1. Casa Bonita - Legendary national landmark. It is known that the food is terrible. Go anyway.
2. Bonnie Brae Ice Cream - The overall best ice cream anywhere ever.
3. Duffy's Cherry Cricket / My Brother's Bar / Park Burger - One of these places has Denver's best burger, but we're not sure which, so you may have to try all three.
4. House of Kabob - Denver's best Middle Eastern food.
5. Kaos Pizzeria / Cosmo's Pizza - Now that Beau Jo's is gone, one of these places has Denver's best pizza.
6. Kokoro (Colorado) - My favorite place for Japanese food.
7. Banzai Sushi - Cailin's favorite place for sushi.
8. Pete's Kitchen (Colfax) - One of Denver's last remaining old-school diner-type places. The University location is also good.
9. Lucille's Creole Cafe - Denver's best breakfast. Either location.
10. Uno Mas / Adelitas / Los Chingones - One of these places has Denver's best tacos.

BARS AND THE LIKE

1. Platte Park Brewing Co - Denver's best brewery.
2. Williams and Graham - Supercool speakeasy in the Highlands.
3. Mile High Spirits - Cool distillery, located downtown. Nice place to play cornhole.
4. Grizzly Rose - There is a mechanical bull. Also lots of country music. Sometimes line dancing.
5. 1-Up - Two Denver locations. A classic video game arcade that also serves drinks.
6. The Pioneer - The best of the DU bars. Great nachos and a nice rooftop patio.
7. Pint's Pub - They have every kind of whiskey. Also a brewery. Also there's food.

MUSEUMS AND WHATNOT

1. Museum of Natural History - Dinosaurs.
2. Denver Zoo - Animals.
3. Denver Art Museum - Art and historical artifacts.
4. Denver Botanical Gardens - Plants.

EVENTS AND SO ON

1. A beer festival (i.e. GABF, Denver Winter Brew Fest, etc.) - All of Denver's beer festivals are good -- some are even Great.
2. South Pearl Street Farmers' Market - Better than the one in Cherry Creek because you don't have to pay to park. (summer)
3. Cinco De Mayo / Peoples' Fair / Taste of Colorado - These three free events are all basically the same thing.
4. National Western Stock Show and Rodeo - This is why Denver exists.
5. Oktoberfest - Outdoor festival. (fall)
6. Christkindl Market - Outdoor market and (heated) beer tent on 16th Street Mall. (holiday season)
7. City Park Jazz - Free outdoor concerts. (summer)
8. Broncos Game - Mile High Stadium. Be absolutely quiet for the offense and make as much noise as possible for the defense. (football season)
9. Rockies Game - Coors Field. Peanuts and cracker jacks. (baseball season)

OTHER THINGS

1. The Wizards Chest - Awesome store for toys, games, magic tricks, costumes, props, etc.
2. Tour of the Capitol - The best State Capitol -- the dome is made of gold!
3. Tour of the 4-Mile House - Historical old house.
4. Cherry Creek Trail - One of Denver's many excellent trails for biking, walking, rollerblading, etc.
5. Washington Park - Denver's best park.

NEIGHBORHOODS, PLACES, ETC.

• 16th Street Mall - A place downtown with restaurants and stores and stuff.
• Larimer Square - Also a place downtown.
• The Highlands - A fancy-shmancy neighborhood with restaurants and stuff, built on the site of a formerly crappy neighborhood.
• RiNo - Short for "River North," some cool restaurants, breweries, art galleries and stuff, built where there used to be just train tracks and warehouses.
• Santa Fe Arts District - Art galleries, restaurants, etc.
• Old South Gaylord Street - Restaurants and stores. Sometimes they close the street for outdoor events.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• Vine Street Pub - Brewery with good food.
• St. Mark's or Stella's or Corvus - If you like coffee houses.

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As an added bonus, here are some additional things that WOULD have made the list, but for various reasons (i.e. they no longer exist, or they used to be a lot cooler than they are now, or they are an out-of-town chain, or they aren't actually in Denver):

1. Celebrity Sports Center - Formerly the greatest place ever, destroyed in 1995 to build a parking lot.
2. Elitch Gardens - The old location was actually a gardens and was awesome.
3. Tattered Cover Book Store - The old location was awesome.
4. Beau Jo's - Denver location recently went out of business (you can still visit the original location in Idaho Springs).
5. Bonnie Brae Hobby Shop - Where nerds used to go for nerd stuff, before the internet and before being a nerd was mainstream.
6. Caboose Hobbies - No longer in Denver.
7. The Old Spaghetti Factory - Out-of-town pasta chain. The Denver location is awesome. Ask to eat inside the train car. Order the "Homer".
8. Voodoo Doughnut (sic) - Out-of-town donut chain. Good donuts.
9. Torchy's Tacos - Out-of-town taco chain.
10. Red Rocks Amphitheatre - The world's greatest concert venue, unfortunately not actually located in Denver.

Please leave a comment if you feel something doesn't belong or we've left something out!

Fellowship of the Ring Rankings

I was recently asked to rank the members of the Fellowship, so here goes:

1. Frodo — crybaby; ultimately fails to destroy the Ring, which was his whole job
2. Boromir — responsible for breaking the Fellowship
3. Sam — suspiciously over-devoted to Frodo
4. Merry — keeps it real
5. Aragorn — pretty badass, for a human
6. Gimli — badass
7. Gandalf — is a motherfrackin' sorcerer
8. Pippin — cheeky, plucky, can sing... everything a hobbit should be
9. Legolas — sees really far; badass with ranged weapons; badass with melee weapons; all-around ultimate badass