Fellowship of the Ring Rankings

I was recently asked to rank the members of the Fellowship, so here goes:

1. Frodo — crybaby; ultimately fails to destroy the Ring, which was his whole job
2. Boromir — responsible for breaking the Fellowship
3. Sam — suspiciously over-devoted to Frodo
4. Merry — keeps it real
5. Aragorn — pretty badass, for a human
6. Gimli — badass
7. Gandalf — is a motherfrackin' sorcerer
8. Pippin — cheeky, plucky, can sing... everything a hobbit should be
9. Legolas — sees really far; badass with ranged weapons; badass with melee weapons; all-around ultimate badass

Roommate Sketch

SLAD

Hi. I'm your roommate, Slad.

YOU

Your shirt says "Slab."

SLAD

That's a typo... Anyway, I get top bunk, the left side of the fridge is mine, don't touch my stuff, and word of the wives -- better not touch my stuff. I'm going out for a jog. When I get back, you better not be here.

YOU

But I live here--

SLAD

Oh, and don't put anything up on the walls. I'm gonna get us a bunch of Ozzie swag for this place.

YOU

Cool, I like Ozzie.

SLAD

Yeah? You a big White Sox fan?

YOU

No... Ozzie Guillen?

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Written by Yours Truly and Danny Jelinek, sometime in 2008 or 2009.

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