Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (E3 Game Demo Review)

Game Name:
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (Ubisoft)

Platform:
PS3 / 360 (I played on a PS3)

Genre:
Not sure anymore (see "HATED" section)

Time Played:
20 minutes (2 matches)

Main Constructs:
Hide & Seek, Tag, Obstacle Course, Load-Outs

One thing I LOVED about it and why:
The theme and world. Technically, it's the same as AC2, although the city of Rome is a new map layout (using familiar assets), and there are new character models to control.

One thing I LIKED about it and why:
The new gate feature. When you run through certain "gates" while being pursued, they slam shut behind you, impeding your pursuer's progress. That's cool, I guess.

One thing I HATED about it and why:
Strait-jacket-like gameplay constraints. They've taken away what was the most unique and fun part of Assassin's Creed: the sandbox. The game actively discourages exploration and role-playing according to the player's unique approach to the game and preferred play style. The only real choice happens during the load-out selection screen; after that, the player must kill the target and evade the pursuer. That's it.

There's only ever one and exactly one person in the game the player is allowed to kill: the target. If you should be fortunate enough to encounter another human player who is neither your target nor your pursuer, you may not interact. There is no fighting, only assassinations. There is no option to stand and fight the person trying to kill you.

The designers have transformed an exciting, complex world of emergent gameplay into a dull, monotonous session of one-on-one tag. I suspect the developers did not actually play either of the first two games, because they have obviously missed the point entirely.

One thing I DISLIKED about it and why:
The lock-on feature. It has been nerfed to the point of uselessness. In fact, it's worse than useless -- it does more harm than good. The original system of identifying targets and locking onto them wasn't broken. Now it is.

What behaviors the main compulsion loop is encouraging:
Do exactly what you are told and you will be rewarded every two or three minutes with a few hundred points.

What the main rewards are:
Points, tallied at end of match. Fatality animations when you kill your target. Relief after successfully evading a pursuer.

What I would change about the game:
If the publisher insists on incorporating multiplayer into the Assassin's Creed franchise (not advisable, in my opinion), but doesn't want to fund a full-fledged MMO, there are several possible ways of going about it:

- Players race to assassinate a shared target or set of targets. Players can thwart each other in various ways, such as fighting one another, setting traps, stealing from each other, hiring guards / prostitutes / thieves to serve as distractions, killing NPC team-members, etc.
- Capture The Flag
- Juggernaut
- Classic Deathmatch
- Motocross-Style Obstacle Course / Collection Racing
- Demolition
- King Of The Hill
- Any of the many other multiplayer constructs designers have used over the years.

Whoever decided that this particular framework for the multiplayer version of Assassin's Creed was the best possible option should definitely be sacked.

What I learned from playing the game:
Never get your hopes up for an E3 demo. Don't stand in an hour-plus line for a game unless you have a reliable tip-off that it's awesome.

Letter to the Governor re: DMV

Dear Gov. Schwarzenegger:

I recently had to go to my local DMV office, in person, to renew my vehicle registration.

It bears noting that the only reason I had to actually go to the office was because the DMV failed to send me my registration renewal notice, which contains the renewal identification number (RIN) necessary to renew a registration over the phone or online.  Luckily, I caught the mistake, but unfortunately I didn't catch it soon enough to afford me the luxury of making an appointment in advance.

Almost everything about my visit to the DMV was lame:

1) The building is ugly.  It obviously needs a complete makeover.  It has needed one since 1984.

2) It was super crowded, even though it was 10:00am on a weekday.  I barely found a spot in the parking lot.

3) I had to wait in line for over an hour just to get a number.

4) I had to wait again for my number to be called, after I had just waited!

5) The screen that displays what number was most recently called was on the fritz.

6) The woman who helped me was very nice.  But the actual "registration renewal" process took less than two minutes!  I handed her a check and she printed and handed me the new registration.  Two hours in line for a two minute transaction.

I am writing to ask you (or whoever's in charge): WHY DOES THE DMV SUCK SO BAD?  Do you make it miserable on purpose?  What could that purpose possibly be?  Are you not aware of how terrible it is?  Are you somehow shielded from the experience because you have an assistant who waits in line at the DMV for you?  It seems to me that no sensible person in a leadership position (such as yours) would look at the current state of the DMV and say, "Yep, this is fine.  Nothing needs to change here.  This is exactly the way it should be."

Now that you are aware of the situation, here are a few of my suggestions on how to improve it:

1) Make it possible for people to renew their registration online even if they didn't get the stupid renewal notice in the mail.

2) Double the number of DMV offices and employees.  At least do it for Los Angeles, please.  If that doesn't help, triple it.  The democrats will love it because you'll be "creating jobs."  Raise the tax on gasoline by 1/10th of a cent per gallon to pay for it.  People will thank you for rounding all of the gas prices up to the nearest cent.

3) Create some kind of "express line" system so that the wait time has some relationship to the complexity of the appointment.

4) Hire some fancy-schmancy consulting firm to take a hard look at the whole operation, and then do whatever they say.

Finally (and probably the best solution):

5) PRIVATIZE THE DMV - The profit motive provides an incentive for businesses to minimize costs and strive for good customer serivice.  Although this doesn't explain why the lines are always so long at the bank, they're still better than the DMV.

Frankly, I see no good reason why the DMV couldn't be privatized.  I know you'll agree with me that it's a brilliant idea.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Yours,

Matt Duffy
California Motorist